Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Mean boys.

My oldest "little boy" is getting picked on about what he wears to school. He's a smart (if I say so) 10 yr old. I love him to bits. Part of me wants to beat up anybody that ever says one mean thing about him. Part of me wants to buy him all new clothes to fit in so that the mean boys will leave him alone. Part of me wants to say, "Eff them! Wear pink and purple polka dot tap shoes if it makes you happy!" But it wouldn't make him happy. He's just wearing regular old Lands End, LL Bean, Gap, Old Navy, etc, and for footwear, Adidas. Nothing fancy, I tell you.

Sometimes people suck. How's that's for diplomacy?
And public school squashes a person's very soul. Or tries to. And, yes, maybe I am a wee bit dramatic. Or PMS-ing. But this is my child we are talking about.

He used a stuffed animal as a pillow camping.
Deep thoughts about whittling.


I sent this letter to B's teacher: (she's gonna grow to Looooove me.)

Dear Miss Fifth Grade Teacher,
B told me that on the first day of school he was asked by another boy if B was embarrassed to be wearing the shirt he was wearing (Star Wars-esque). When B said no, the boy told him the shirt was stupid and B looked dumb, and Star Wars is dumb. (Or something to that affect.) B said to my husband and myself, at dinner, "What's NOT to like about Star Wars, they have light sabers?" We all laughed.

Then the next day, B said that three kids made fun of his shirt that day. One kid asked if his parents made him wear it to school. When B said no, the boy said, "Really? You look dumb." (It is a shirt from B's grandparent's 50th anniversary party this summer.) He seemed hurt. He said that those two shirts were his favorite shirts, that's why he wore them to school for day #1 and #2. He said one of the kids was a 4th grader he doesn't even know who came up to him on the playground to insult him.

Then today somebody told B that his sneakers make him look like a nerd. And another kid said that B's shirt was stupid because it had a tiger on it. B was also told that being in Cub Scouts is stupid.

We have always tried to teach our children to be kind and caring, to be considerate and thoughtful. I will continue to teach B to try to reach out to others and look for the best in them. I hope that he continues to see the good in himself with all the negativity coming at him from his classmates. He doesn't understand what he's doing wrong. I'm really shocked by all these rude, shallow, mean comments.

Any thoughts?

Sincerely,
Angry mom


What gives?! I have heard about "mean girls", but I hoped boys were better to each other. 

8 comments:

Bfiles said...

This is so upsetting I can barely read it. So sorry. I hope your son keeps wearing what he wants to wear. I just can't stand thinking about mean kids. And sadly, I remember being mean myself occasionally and think it's what kids do to fit in sometimes. But having it done to your own kid? Can't imagine, but sure I'll have to soon enough. Big hug to B (and you).

Emily said...

That is terrible. My heart is breaking for your little guy.
I have to agree with your son, what is not to like about Star Wars? Light sabers are pretty much the weapon of choice in most battles. Just saying.
Good luck. I hope you are able to work something out. Maybe a few brownies with laxatives will help.
Okay, maybe that won't but it is an idea.

Emily said...

That is terrible. My heart is breaking for your little guy.
I have to agree with your son, what is not to like about Star Wars? Light sabers are pretty much the weapon of choice in most battles. Just saying.
Good luck. I hope you are able to work something out. Maybe a few brownies with laxatives will help.
Okay, maybe that won't but it is an idea.

LeesOnTheGo said...

I am not a swearer by nature and the best I can draw up is a sharp tongued &*@%! them. The little boogers. (It was a good one, I assure you).

I, like your other commenters, am sorry/perturbed/saddened that this is happening to your precious boy. It sucks to be picked on. It will suck worse if the grown ups at school let it slide. So your letter is not only well written but necessary. She will learn to love you because you are a parent who CARES. And a parent that cares is a parent that acts. As a former public school teacher, I had more appreciation for the parents that cared than the parents that let things go. If she's smart, she'll tackle this one right away. If she's not...write her another letter and follow up with a meeting. (Repeat, repeat, repeat).

I hope your son knows it's not about what he wears or who he is. He is perfectly perfect in his super cool t-shirts.

NKL

Daniela Swider said...

Ugh, I hate it when something like that happens. Who made these mean kids think they can act like the fashion police???

My daughter seems to take those comments pretty seriously too. She doesn't complain much but refuses to wear the things her "friends" say are dumb or whatever. She just wants those kids to like her so much that she'd stop wearing things she used to love. It's so sad. Wasteful too - I buy all these clothes for her and they get worn once or twice before they meet someones disapproval...

Jen said...

Wear the t-shirts, mean boys be darned! I have always worried about that with Kelsey as she came to her fashion sense (if you will) in Iceland, so is always wearing some crazy mix of clothing.

Sheesh..good luck with the letter, would love to know what happens!

Jill said...

What is it these days with mean kids? Seriously, you are the third person this week who's written a blog posting like this. Something must be in the air...

I too am curious to hear what happened with the teacher. Please keep us posted!!

BTW, I ended up having a talk with the girls mom ... all is well in the end, but it was definitely an interesting conversation. So glad I said something!

Connie said...

Kids also get nasty when they're jealous. Brian still gets comments about his hair from kids, but he has long since learned that many of those who say things, do not get to wear their hair how they like, but have to do as their parents tell them. Some of the boys who started out calling him names... eventually experimented with growing their own hair long. I hope B will come to understand that people who say mean things about another's appearance are very often jealous... either of the particular piece of clothing, or simply the fact that you're wearing something that is not 'just like everybody else'. Being unique is brave and shows confidence... showing confidence like that, threatens those who do NOT have confidence, so they attack and try to break your confidence.
btw... Star wars has been cool since I was a kid (a long, long time ago), and it still is... and I am not ashamed to say I even have a lightsaber app on my smartphone ;D !!