Monday, November 8, 2010

Fears about my kids.

Conversation (last week) between my husband and me (by cell phone) while I was on my way to the doctor's office to discuss my migraines:

Me: Hi, are you busy? Because NPR is on in the car and I'm freaking out a little bit.

Him: Ok, what's up?

Me: There are bombs. And... Yemen. And... Greece. And... planes with engines failing. We are safe here. Here. The kids are safe.

Him: It will be ok. I know, I worry about safety too. We will be ok.

Me: Are we crazy? Citizen of the world, what crap!! What are we doing? Well, I better go, I'm driving and talking illegally. That's not safe. Bye.

Him: Um, ok, bye.

Later, at the doctor's office, she asks me how everything (besides the headaches) is. And I laugh. Then I say, "There are bombs. And Yemen. And Greece. And planes with engines failing. And I don't know what it means to 'duck and cover.' And a lot of people in the world don't like Americans. And it's been over a year of being in limbo. And the kids like to climb trees and what if there are no trees..."

So, yeah, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had these crazy fears, right? Can I wrap each child in bubble wrap?


Bfiles said...

well you know I'm with you, right? I think it's fair to say I'm freaking out right now. Bubble wrap sounds damn good.

Kate said...

We've only made it as far as Virginia and I feel like we've already plopped out kids into another world. Our mantra, if we don't like it/don't feel safe, we can always go back home. When we went to meet our CDO(is that the right acronym?) and I expressed my fears of safety, she snorted and said her kids "went to school under gunfire and we didn't leave post". That meeting sent me into a tailspin of depression, but I soon learned that her attitude was NOT the norm, and families can leave anytime they don't feel safe. Also, we got a new CDO.

Daniela Swider said...

We've also made it as far as D.C. but can't wait to go overseas. I guess we are crazy but I really think it will be good for the kids in so many ways.

I hope we will be relatively safe wherever we go, if not, we can leave. I am comfortable with that. I also think that weird and unsafe things happen here too.

Could be just me...

LeesOnTheGo said...

You are NOT're just a mom. And as such will make amazing leaps of logic to keep your family safe and happy.

This is our 3rd overseas experience as a family (2 of which were with FS) and the most unsafe place we have lived in was DC. Oddly enough, living overseas brings a bubble of protection that cannot be experienced stateside.

You'll be fine. They'll be better than fine. And I'd even go so far as to wager a sizeable bet (Ok, not too about a bag of Kenyan coffee beans) that your headaches ease up once this waiting game is over. It's stressful, confusing & frustrating to say the least. So, rest assured, your kids will be in a safety bubble akin to The Truman Show set while living overseas ( most posts anyway...).


Shannon said...

No you are not at all crazy but Naoma is right in so many many ways living overseas protects our kids and allows them to have a Happy Days 1950s kind of childhood free from the pressures to grow up so quickly. They can actually just be kids. It is nice, really nice. Hang in there! It does get better once you are past the waiting stage and things start happening.

I'll Take Mine... said...

Thanks for the comments. It's reassuring to hear that I'm not alone. It's also interesting to hear that people feel safer overseas. Do you feel isolated, or cut off from the host country, in order to get that secure feeling? Just curious.

LeesOnTheGo said...

Great question about isolation from the host culture. In a lot of ways it just depends on the country you are in and how they view Americans. In Macedonia there were no compounds so we lived in a local neighborhood. In some ways, this brought a sense of safety and normalacy of it's own (people just loved kids and would never dream of "stealing" them). In Kenya, our kids are safe but isolated in that most of us live on compounds. There's just a separateness that makes it difficult to get to know the local culture.

Do we feel "cut off from the host country in order to get that secure feeling?"...hmmm. I'd say based on the extreme security measures required in this particular country, yes. We feel isolated from the host country. But don't feel that we ourselves took those measures. They are simply required here. However, being in an International school allows for a lot more contact with a zillion cultures that no public school "diversity" curriculum could do any sense of justice. My boys would readily say that their best buddies "are brown and black". So our neighborhood may be isolationist but not our lunch tables.


PS~Can hardly wait to hear about what happens with the job(s).

Crystal said...

I feel your fear! I live in Middle East and my husband travels to Qatar all the time!!!!!!! We believe that sometimes you "have to feel the fear but jump anyway" and we pray ALOT! Crystal