This is completely and totally selfish. But I want to be able to write about something exciting happening in my life too. Rather, I want something exciting to be happening in my life. Then, I will write about it.
I have many congratulatory good wishes for all who have made it in to A-100 classes. I am happy for people selling vehicles and houses and sorting through boxes of stuff. I'm glad that the people in my husband's OA group are finding out where they will be posted. I am happy for 21 year olds who are not even graduated from college and are #1 on the PD register. Ok, maybe not happy. Maybe I'm jealous. And envious. Are jealous and envious the same?
I think I've gotten slightly crazy with this whole FS process.
I was thinking that my moods might have some parallels with the stages in candy making. I might be at soft-crack or hard-crack.
5 comments:
It is not selfish. You are not selfish. The mere fact that you are able to write congratulatory wishes to others who are where you want to be (will soon be) is very kind-spirited of you.
Hard-cracked or soft-cracked makes no difference. It's all sweet in the end.
NKL
I have always felt that jealous and envious are not the same. Jealousy is mean spirited, envy just means that you want the same thing. You're not selfish. We all feel it too. Hang in there.
Naoma- Thank you. You are the sweet one!
Bfiles- I appreciate the support. You hang in there too.
We feel the same way. In fact, we have started telling family it most likely won't happen. We have no idea what has happened to the POL register. This time last year we would be in A-100. Any other register, we would be in A-100. On April 13 there were 156 on the register. After June calls, and 3 weeks later, the register is back up to 151 (and still growing.) And it seems tons are being added higher than 5.57. So, we watch our dreams slowly fade away. It's frustrating. Just wanted you to know you're not alone. At least you can blog about it. Out of pure frustration I don't even want to talk about it.
I can't even imagine how painful this waiting, will it happen, life on hold thing is. Sending good thoughts your way.
Post a Comment