Monday, April 5, 2010


My in-laws celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary this summer. 50 years. That's a long time to be with someone. God bless them. It's longer than five days. But five days is nothing to scoff at.

I love them.

They are good people. 

They have left the building. Dancing might have ensued. It might have been me dancing the jig. 
Here are a few more gems from the visit (true):

  • Father-in-law told (again) how he caught dozens (hundreds?) of frogs by lulling them with the sound of a tractor. Then ate their legs.
  • Mother-in-law elaborated about how milk and her system don't get along. In detail.
  • Father-in-law told us he likes our dog. Then talked about his own beloved childhood dog. When it got old and sick he shot it, between the eyes. 
  • I was washing the china, my mother-in-law was rinsing, my husband was drying. My husband kept rejecting my mother-in-law's rinsing, saying there were still bubbles on the dishes. My Mother-in-law looked at me and said, "Well, she's using too much soap." My Hubby said, "No, you need to use more water."
  • Father-in-law said that once people come to American they need to just be "American" and learn English.
  • Father-in-law said he's having a little trouble with his eyes. And driving. Just words. And shapes.
  • Mother-in-law said she was glad hubby was trying to do the FS thing if he really wanted to. But she certainly wouldn't want to. My husband had asked her directly: What do you think about the Foreign Service, Mom?
  • Hubby and I beat the in-laws in a game last night. Fist-bumped in triumph. I said it felt good to be on a winning team for once. Mother-in-law agreed and said I was often a loser. (I am not making this shit up!)
So, that will be all. I apologize for talking too much about my in-laws. I'm a jerk right? I am pretty sure I am a terrible person. I'm heading to H-E- double hockey sticks. Maybe the worst daughter-in-law ever. But seriously, it's a screenplay, being with them. I keep looking for the hidden cameras.

There was a plan for this morning: Hubby leaves for work, kids leave on bus, in-laws leave. Dancing.

Here's how it really went down: Hubby has been coughing, aching and sick for three days. Thinks he has ear infections. This morning he secretly calls in sick. Secretly makes doctors appointment. Gets dressed for work. (In-laws disapprove of anyone ever calling in sick, ever. It shows weakness and a poor work ethic. Plus leads to lectures of indiscriminate length. Yeah, we're in our late 30s, but don't you judge.) Husband pretends to leave for work, wearing a tie. He plans to go study German, then to his doctor's appointment. There are good-byes, hugs, waves, thanks for coming, see you this summer. Then Hubby backs his car out of the garage directly into his Dad's Lincoln parked in the driveway. Smash!
Is this Karma?


Bfiles said...

oh, no. I wish you were kidding about the car.

often a loser? Now I understand the dancing.

it's over, right?

A Daring Adventure said...

Oh no! I hope the cars are okay - no lasting damage?

I hope?

FS, here we come! said...

No damage. Luckily he was not going too fast. Only damage was to license plate plastic holder/frame thingy which shattered to the winds. Father-in-law was understanding.

Donna said...

You have now officially made my short list of "blogs to read before feeding the kids breakfast." Also, I am reminded to send my in-laws a gigantic bouquet of flowers. Just because.

Hope husband is feeling better soon. Wouldn't want f-in-law to have to shoot him between the eyes.

Shannon said...

You are using too much soap? Too funny! And often a looser? My how sweet. No you are not to be blamed for dancing a jig! Put your feet up and treat yourself to some quiet time and a cup of coffee, or maybe tea!

Bryn said...

I'm sorry, but I'm laughing!!! What an adventure it must be having the inlaws visit. Oh my.....

LeesOnTheGo said...

Dance Away!!!! You have earned it!